Flatmate in heat

Who is a hypocrite? He who talks big, but secretly disobeys himself. And who is Shil? The guy who is standing with his ear to his bedroom wall trying to hear the sounds coming from his flatmate’s room. What is he trying to hear? Is he trying to listen to the sounds of two human beings enjoying beautiful luv? Or is he trying to ignore the silence in his own room?? Or both??? Does he feel jealous for his flatmate Sumon, who has found a Russian girlfriend, and is indulging in sin every night with her? Or does he want to help them to overcome lust forever, and find the purity of spiritual luv??

First of all, Sumon, congrats! I’m happy for you, and I hope and pray that she may be your soulmate who God himself has chosen for you before the beginning of the Time….. Surely there is a girl for every guy and destiny has brought your loved one to you at this point in time….Or maybe, God forbid, she is merely taking you for the ride, and has no feelings for you. Ok, sex is fine, and I am delighted for you that at long last you are getting a taste of this forbidded fruit. I too have some experience in this regards, but anyway, this is not about me, or my wild days of hard partying and womanizing when I was a Romeo in IIT KGP – believe me, I could write a whole book chapter about that, just ask anyone at KGP!!

But, Sumon, have you considered that maybe you should take it slow, and not be so eager to expose yourself to her?? I don’t think girls are so eager for sex, they are like flowers that like to open their petals gradually, and you may be turning her off by this physical attention. More crucially, have you spent some adequate amount of time with her to see if she is the one, before this kind of unwise activity. She looks intelligent and mature, but who knows, maybe she has slept with many ppl before and who knows what kinds of bacteria and germs she has amassed! Did you know that according to latest stats 1 out of every 3 Russians is infected with HIV???

She has beautiful physique, but I really don’t know if she is the right social strata for you – anyone can be a receptionist in the US, as long as they are female and know how to smile meaningfully at the clients. Trust Shil on this one, there are N number of women in this country who are ready and available for a “hot time”, but they will all leave you in the dust afterwards. Don’t be scared to break up with her, getting a girl in this country is not rocket science, anyone can do it. But tell me how many can nourish the relationship, and handle it maturely, without having a serious fallout and depression??

No, Sumon, this friend cannot stand by and see you get hurt – his character will not allow it. I have gr8 respect for uncle and auntie, and if I let their son down now I will never be able to look them in the face ever again. Believe me, I don’t want to tell them about all this in my weekly skype chat with them, but love demands loyalty to a higher ideal – I cannot be selfish and stay silent any more, Sumon!!

Don't touch me inappropriate!

Howz life, folkz!!!! Shil was in Cali (c'mon on, California, guyz....:)) last week, doing a small project for the ppl at Oracle. Their canteen is quite spick-and-span and the cooks are very jolly. The US cuisine is utter crap, but they have one very tasty dish - mac and cheese!

So: I was chilling in downtown San Francisco when I saw an Indian guy (ABCD of course, what do you think!) carrying a signboard and shouting about gay rights and respect for gays, so I started arguing with him. I told him, Do you even know what is the meaning of respect?? (1) When you work your ass off 9-2-5, 24 by 7, either as team leader or team member, (2) when you complete the project in a goal-oriented manner within the given time-frame, (3) when you give your 100 percent even though you are here on L-1 short-term visa only and they are paying you too less coz of that reason, (4) when you heed the advice of the seniors, THEN at the end of the day your sweat will smell of - you guessed it, R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!!

The bugger couldn't take it. He started shouting that I didn't have the courage to be open and show my homo side. I just laughed. 'You know what's the meaning of courage, my friend?' I told him. 'When Amitabh Bachchan played an elderly gentleman in the movie Baghban! Just imagine, having the guts to play such a daring role, and risk alienating the fanbase!'

Anyway, long story short - he started attacking me for no rhyme or reason. There were two lesbos standing with him and they also started screaming at me. I endured quietly for a while, then walked away, didn't want to give them any satisfaction by acting cheap like them.

I have only question for the homos - what's your funda???!!! Are you so bored and rich that you are acting like girls?? Do you think that poor people can afford to be gay? If so, why do you think there are no gays outside US and Europe??

And the lesbos are the most frustrated of the lot. Chillax, you nymphos! Yes, you are too ugly for white men, but so what - get yourself an Indian guy! We're not so particular about your face,etc as long as the girl is white. And for the gay guys - how about an Indian girl? Many of our smart young ladies are looking for abroad chance to further their dreams. They are very open-minded and can consider a white man if so be it.

And as for gay marriage, even Obama has told that marriage is male-female only, so topic is closed.

Anyway, if you just want a marriage certificate, there's no need to shout - I can get one made for you from India (also, if you want any kind of documentation, passport, report card, license, etc. If you want gold/silver medal that will be more costly).

Bottomline is that if you want to be gay I have no problem with it, but please don't sit next to me in the cinema hall and touch me inappropriate!!